5 Things to Never Say to a Naked Woman

5 Things to Never Say to a Naked

Woman

When the sex is good, it speaks for itself. When it's not, 

you have to use actual words. 

Just choose them carefully or she may cut you off for good

Love can be messy—especially the sex part. But to straighten things out, sometimes you have to start a difficult conversation. And that's fine, if you do it with tact. "You have to develop the vocabulary to talk about sensitive issues," says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., a sex therapist based in Philadelphia. "It will help you please your partner." In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy found that communication is the most critical factor in a couple's success—it's even more significant than the sex itself. That's why you should pause before you open your big mouth and say something you'll regret. We talked to the experts to find out how you can ace the talks you'd rather avoid and still come out on top (or bottom—whichever you prefer). 

THAT ORGASM SEEMED AS PHONY AS CHEEZ WHIZ.

Don't accuse her, says Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University. Instead, have that talk away from the bedroom. When the topic comes up naturally, say, "You don't ever need to fake orgasms with me. I want our relationship to be totally honest." You'll foster mutual respect—in and out of the sack. 

NOT NOW, THANKS. I'D RATHER JUST READ MY BOOK.

You're allowed to be tired, but make sure she knows you're surprised too. Try, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm too exhausted," says Finkel. Then ask for a rain check—say, for the morning—and tell her you'll do anything she wants. "Reassuring her is important," Goldman says. If she knows you're still interested, she'll give you a pass.

THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD I WANT TO TRY WITH YOU.

Congrats—now she's leery. "If you say, 'I know this is weird, but. . .' your partner is bound to feel conflicted," Goldman says. A smarter way in: "I'm curious about bondage. What do you think?" By starting a conversation instead of forcing her to say yes or no, you give her time to think. She'll see that you view the act as a way to connect, not control. 

I'LL ENJOY THE SEX MORE AFTER YOU TAKE AN STD TEST.

The message she hears: "I suspect you have an STD." That's not exactly a turn-on. So flip the script: Tell her you want to get tested for her sake, and ask if she'd be willing to do it with you. If you frame the suggestion as something the two of you can do together, says Goldman, then she won't feel accused. 

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD? I DON'T LIKE IT.

Say this, and you'll look like an ass. Instead, show that you're eager to improve too, says Goldman. Ask, "What do you want more of or less of in bed?" You'll learn something about your own game, and when it's your turn to share, she'll be all ears. One trick: Sandwich the complaint between two compliments, and it will go down even easier. 

What to Do When She Asks You How Many Women You’ve Slept With

What to Do When 

She Asks 

You How 

Many Women 

You’ve

 Slept With

Should you fib? Hide under the table? Experts explain how to navigate the dicey get-to-know-you conversation

Could your sexual history make or break your relationship? That’s what a new (unscientific) survey conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor, an online pharmacy in the UK, suggests. 

In the survey of more than 2,000 Europeans and Americans, 30 percent of the respondents said they’d be at least somewhat likely to end a relationship if they found out their partner had too many previous sexual partners.

What the heck is “too many”? 

On average, the women surveyed said they’d 

consider anyone who had slept with 15 or more

 partners as “too promiscuous.” Men set the limit at 14 partners. 

Plus, more than two thirds of the respondents

 said they thought that sexual histories should

 be discussed within the first four months of a relationship.

Clearly this all makes answering the sex 

number question a terrifying proposition if you’re in the double digits. 

Do you lie? Change the subject? Tell 

the truth and hope for the best?

We didn’t know either, so we asked two women with Ph.D.s.

DO YOU HAVE TO REVEAL YOUR SEX NUMBER?

Surprise! Both experts we polled

 give you permission to dodge the question entirely.

First of all, it could be too early to have such an

 intimate conversation, says Leslie Bell, Ph.D.,

 a psychotherapist based in Berkeley, California. 

Say someone asks you about your sexual history 

on the third date, for example, and you don’t feel 

comfortable delving into the ex files yet. That’s reasonable, Bell says. 

Just tell your date: “I’d love to get to that point,

 but I’d like to get to know you a little better before we talk about that.”

Even down the road, though, there’s really no

 reason you should have to disclose your number, says sex 

researcher Kristen Mark, Ph. D., the director of the

 Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky, 

Her reasoning: What’s the point of sharing that information?

 That number of women you slept with in the

 past doesn’t usually have anything to do with

 the relationship you’re currently in 

(as long as you use protection and get tested for STIs).

So if you don’t want to answer,

 say: “Look, I’m sorry I’m not willing to share

 this information, 

but I don’t see how it’s relevant to our relationship,” says Mark.

If your partner seems annoyed by that, 

don’t get defensive. Just calmly ask her why

 she wants to know in the first place, 

Mark says. Try: “How do you see this affecting our relationship?” 

Then you can have a more productive 

conversation about what you both 

value in a relationship. Maybe she’s 

actually more concerned about fidelity, for example. 

Most likely, what she wants 

most in a partner has nothing to do with the

 exact number of notches on your bedpost.

IS IT OK TO FIB ABOUT YOUR SEX NUMBER?

If you do decide to tell your partner 

about your past, just be honest, Mark and Bell both advise.

Even if you don’t think fibbing

 about it is a big deal, the truth will

 probably come to the surface eventually

 if you stay together, Bell says. And then you’ll be

 caught in a lie, which could hurt her trust in you.

If you’re worried that your number is going to

 seem high, prep a little speech in advance in case she raises her eyebrows. 

Explain how you got to that number and 

what those different periods in your life

 meant to you, says Bell. For example, 

you might have thought sleeping around

 in college was fun, but now you’re ready to settle down. 

Or maybe you still want to sleep with lots of

 different people—in which case, she deserves 

to know that about you anyway. 

Regardless, your exact number of sexual 

partners is just one detail in your history, 

Mark says. It’s part of who you are, but 

obviously it’s not the whole story. If she

 lets it make or break your relationship, 

then maybe you and her weren’t compatible in the first place. 

Things every guy should keep at his desk

Sure, you have the requisite pens, pads, notebooks, and folders at your desk. You probably think that means you're all set.

There are 12 things that should be in or around every man's desk that we seldom think of until we need them. Be prepared for whatever happens during work — and after — with these essentials.

A blazer to dress up office-casual attire when needed.

Club Monaco

Even if the dress code at your office doesn't require one, keep a blazer at your desk at all times. A surprise client meeting or TV appearance can rattle the unprepared.

Make sure you can at least appear ready to take on the challenge.

An extra pair of shoes.

Jack Erwin

They don't need to be fancy. They just need to provide a Plan B in case you step in something or get caught in a rainstorm.

An extra pair of socks.

Shutterstock

Speaking of a downpour, a dry pair of socks is the difference between an uncomfortable morning and an uncomfortable day.

While you're at it, stick a pair of underwear in your desk, too. You never know.

A comfortable pair of headphones.

Chris Hondros

Headphones are an absolute must in shared workspaces, but we recommend them for everyone. Listening to music at work can actually make you more productive.

An emergency stick of deodorant.

Getty/Brad Barket

Whether you forgot to apply it or just need to freshen up, a stick of deodorant is indispensable. It's one of the most important items every guy should keep in his desk

A sturdy umbrella.

Jeff J Mitchell 

It wasn't raining this morning — but it definitely is now. Good thing you thought ahead and have your trusty umbrella ready to go under your desk.

An extra phone charger.

Will Wei/Business Insider

When you've been on one call after another, there's no more clutch desk accessory than a phone charger exactly when you need it.

Disposable toothbrushes.

Amazon.com

Fresh breath is important at all times, but especially when you're meeting a date after work. These go-anywhere toothbrushes are extremely useful in a pinch. They even double as toothpicks.

Chewing gum.

Amazon.com

No time to brush? Pop a quick stick of gum. Just don't go to town on it if you work in an open office. Your co-workers don't want to hear that.

Lose Arm Fat At Home

Arm fat is caused by the accumulation of excess fat in the area of the arms, and it represents an unpleasant issue, especially for women.

Moreover, even though sometimes fat can be easily burnt with regular exercise and a healthy diet, the fat on the arms is incredibly stubborn, and its removal is extremely difficult.

Flabby arms are often a result of aging, as, after the second decade of life, the body stored fat on certain body parts, and the lean muscle mass is gradually reduced. Actually, fatty tissues overweight lean muscles, and arm fat is a common aesthetic issue.

This problem may also result from poor metabolism as it is slowed down with age, and the system burns fewer calories. The increased accumulation of fat in the body is caused by lack of exercise and physical inactivity as well.

Hence, if you are one of the millions with flabby arms and simply hate their appearance, you will be happy after reading this article as we will suggest several simple, but extremely effective exercises that will help you burn the fat on the arms, and eventually get the toned arms you dreamed about your entire life!

How To Get Rid Of Oily Skin Permanently?

How To Get Rid Of Oily Skin Permanently

Many people have oily or greasy skin problems, particularly on their faces. Never neglect oily skin conditions as it can lead to other skin problems like acne and spots.

Why Is My Skin So Oily?

A person who suffers from oily face keeps wondering: “Why Is My Skin So Oily”?

Oily skin arises when the sebaceous glands emit more oil than normal, resulting into presence of more oil on the skin surface. Hereditary is one of the main causes for too much oil production. The other possible causes for oily skin are hormonal shifts, stress, pollution, high humidity, travel, certain cosmetic products, birth control pills, poor diet, and improper skin care.

Although, there are solutions that can be used to dry out your skin, but the best way is to treat the underlying cause. This can be altering your lifestyle, following a cleansing regimen regularly or improving your overall diet.

Here are the best tips to prevent or reduce oily skin problem, even to stop the problem, and improve overall health of your skin:

How To Get Rid Of Oily Skin

It’s not always easy to stop sebaceous glands from producing excessive oil. For the people who have this issue, it is quite a task to look their best throughout the day. Excessive production of oil by their sebaceous glands is often exacerbated by an oscillation in hormones. Such people can also suffer from acne breakouts, particularly during periods in case of women. Proper care of their skin becomes crucial in shrinking large pores, treating blackheads, and acne. Here are listed best tips for preventing the sebaceous glands from producing excess oil and controlling oily skin conditions:

1. Proper Cleansing: Always use an oil-free cleansing product two times in a day. Take a little amount of the facial cleanser in your hands, lather it up, and gently massage it onto your face – using your finger-tips. Then rinse out with lukewarm water. In case you are having fresh acne breakouts, buy a cleanser with benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid, which is an effective remedy to dry them up.

2. Use Toner Or An Astringent: Gently apply a toner or an astringent onto your skin after washing, and then pat it dry with a clean towel. In case you are suffering from acne, consider using a prescription astringent having ingredients to help clear up acne breakouts. For those who believe in using natural ways, we recommend freshly squeezed lemon juice or witch hazel that are not only very effective but are inexpensive too. An effective way is to use pre-moistened pads or to apply liquid astringent or toner using soft cotton balls.

Natural Beauty Tip: Opt for an alcohol-free toner to avert excessive dryness or irritation.

3. Moisturize Consistently: Use an oil-controlling moisturizer or a mattifying gel. For those who apply makeup this also serves as make-up base before they put on foundation.

4. Exfoliate Once Or Twice a Week: Exfoliating your skin helps to remove dead skin cells and dirt that otherwise can clog your skin pores. There are various options, such as natural exfoliants containing fruit kernels, micro-beads, or ground up nut shells. Mixing water with baking soda is also an option or you can try exfoliating with a clean washcloth. For people who don’t like to exfoliate physically, they can go for an enzyme containing facial mask or glycolic acid pads to get rid of dead skin cells.

5. Use Facial Masks: Do facial using clay mask once or twice a week. Allow the mask to remain on your skin until it dries out, and then rinse it out with lukewarm water. Pat dry your face gently, using a clean, soft facial towel.

How To Stop Oily Face? – Additional Home Remedies

Following are some tested home remedies to treat oily skin:

(i) Apple Cider Vinegar: For best results, we recommend unfiltered and raw kind that has beneficial enzymes and nutrients which are missing in pasteurized and filtered one. Considering the fact that it is somewhat strong to use directly on the skin, make sure to mix 1 part of apple cider vinegar with 1-2 parts of water before applying it onto your skin. Apply it once a day after washing your face, but before moisturizing, using a clean cotton ball.

(ii) Don’t Wash Your Face Too Much: Wash your face not more than twice a day – in the morning and before you sleep at night. Washing your face too frequently provokes your sebaceous glands to secrete even more oil. The sebum (naturally released oil from your skin) purpose is to lubricate and shields your skin. When you wash your face too often, your glands react by releasing more oil to shield it.

(iii) Use Lukewarm Water: Cold or hot water dries out your skin that can prompt your glands to release more oil. While washing your face, use lukewarm water as it relaxes your face and treats it gently.

(iv) Facial Care Products: Choose cleansers that are especially formulated for oily and/or acne prone skin. You can also use natural cleansers.

(v) Oil Free Moisturizers And Sun-Screen: Use moisturizer to help protect your face from vagaries of excess oil and the Sun’s ultraviolet rays. But, make sure to use oil-free products or the problem may be aggravated.

How To Make Your Face Less Oily?

(i) Consider using witch hazel as a natural toner for your oily face and skin. You can apply it with a cotton ball and allow it to dry out.

(ii) To treat pimples (oily skin is acne prone), apply lavender or tea tree oil exactly on the pimples to exterminate bacteria and help heal the skin. However, if you have sensitive skin, make sure to dilute the oil with some aloe vera gel.

Why your white dress shirt yellows when you sweat — and how to fix it

 Any guy who wears white dress shirts is familiar what usually comes along with them: an inevitable fight with yellow stains around the armpit area.

But it doesn't have to to be that way. By understanding the phenomenon, we can prevent and battle it together.

The unsightly stains are not just a product of the sweat your body produces — it's actually a mix of your sweat and the aluminum in your anti-perspirant deodorant, according to cleaning expert Jolie Kerr.

Yes, the exact thing you're putting on to prevent these stains are exactly the culprit all along. Ain't that an M. Night Shyamalan for you?

Aluminum is actually the active ingredient that is supposed to prevent said sweating in your pits, but when it mixes with the protein in your sweat, it leaves a trail of yellow destruction in its wake on white fabric. 

So what can you do to prevent this? Well, you could switch to using regular deodorant and not use anti-perspirant, though this may make some men a sweaty enough mess that it's not really an option. Trading yellow for constant wetness isn't a great solution. Kerr has lots of suggestions for how to prevent sweat without anti-perspirant, but most of them don't sound quick, easy, or practical.

So what can you do about your yellowed shirts? Looks like the easiest thing to do is to treat them after the fact. But as you probably already know, regular detergent isn't going to do anything with this particular stain. Kerr recommends throwing some OxiClean in the wash with your fresher pit stains, which should bring them back to as close to brand-new as you can get them.

If you can wash the shirt immediately, that's the best way to get rid of it. If you're too slow, it becomes much more difficult to treat, and you'll have to soak it with the solution in a bucket or sink for a while.

Other preventative measures include a Speed Stick that claims to not leave pit stains. Other more hirsute men may consider trimming their armpit hair, which can in turn reduce the development of wetness through the day and save your shirts. 

successful people do this before bed

Things successful people do right before bed

• Jacquelyn Smith and Rachel Gillett

The last thing you do before bed tends to have a significant impact on your mood and energy level the next day, as it often determines how well and how much you sleep.

Successful people understand that their success starts and ends with their mental and physical health, which is almost entirely dependent upon their getting enough sleep.

That is why good bedtime routines are a key ritual for so many of them.

Here's what many successful people do right before bed:

1. They read

Flickr / Viviana Calderón

Experts agree that reading is the very last thing most successful people do before going to sleep — US President Barack Obama and Bill Gates are known to read for at least a half hour before bed.

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of "You Can't Be Serious! Putting Humor to Work," says he knows numerous business leaders who block off time just before bed for reading, going so far as to schedule it as a "non-negotiable item" on their calendar.

"This isn't necessarily reserved just for business reading or inspirational reading. Many successful people find value in being browsers of information from a variety of sources, believing it helps fuel greater creativity and passion in their lives," he says.

2. They disconnect from work

Artur Debat/Getty Images

Truly successful people do anything but work right before bed, Kerr says. They don't obsessively check their email and they try not to dwell on work-related issues.

Studies have found that if you associate your bed with work, it'll be harder to relax there, so it's essential you reserve your bed for sleep and sex only.

Michael Woodward, PhD, an organizational psychologist and author of "The YOU Plan,"agrees, saying:

The last thing you need is to be lying in bed thinking about an email you just read from that overzealous boss who spends all their waking hours coming up with random requests driven by little more than a momentary impulse.

Give yourself a buffer period of at least a half hour between the time you read your last email and the time you go to bed.

3. They unplug completely

Flickr/m01229

Disconnecting from work means not checking your email right before bed, but this doesn't mean you should turn to social media or games on your phone, either. Researchers agree that any kind of screen time before bed does you more harm than good.

The blue light from your phone mimics the brightness of the sun, which tells your brain to stop producing melatonin, an essential hormone that regulates your circadian rhythm and tells your body when it's time to wake and when it's time to sleep. This could lead not only to poor sleep, but also to vision problems, cancer, and depression.

If you don't believe the research, take it from Arianna Huffington, The Huffington Post's cofounder, president, and editor-in-chief. After collapsing from exhaustion, Huffington completely revamped her approach to sleep. As she details in her book, "Thrive," she has completely banned iPads, Kindles, laptops, and any other electronics from the bedroom.

4. They make a to-do list

Flickr/Shane Adams

"Clearing the mind for a good night sleep is critical for a lot of successful people," Kerr says. "Often they will take this time to write down a list of any unattended items to address the following day, so these thoughts don't end up invading their head space during the night."

For example, Kenneth Chenault, CEO of American Express, writes down three things he wants to accomplish the next day.

5. They spend time with family

Aaron/flickr

Woodward says it's important to make some time to chat with your partner, talk to your kids, or play with your dog.

Laura Vanderkam, author of "I Know How She Does It" and "What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast," says this is a common practice among the highly successful.

"I realize not everyone can go to bed at the same time as his or her partner, but if you can, it's a great way to connect and talk about your days," she says.

6. They go for an evening stroll

REUTERS/Mike Blake

Joel Gascoigne, cofounder and CEO of Buffer, takes a 20-minute walk every evening before bed.

"This is a wind down period, and allows me to evaluate the day's work, think about the greater challenges, gradually stop thinking about work, and reach a state of tiredness," he writes in a blog post.

While it's a popular belief that exercise before bed can prevent sleep, the National Sleep Foundation actually found in 2013 that exercising whenever you can, even at night, helps you sleep better. Numerous studies have also found that walking reduces stress and anxiety.

7. They reflect on the good things from the day

Flickr/Minoru Nitta

Kerr says that many successful people take the time just before bed to reflect on or write down three things that they are appreciative of that happened that day.

"Keeping a 'gratitude journal' also reminds people of the progress they made that day in any aspect of their life, which in turn serves as a key way to stay motivated, especially when going through a challenging period."

It's easy to fall into the trap of replaying negative situations from the day that you wish you had handled differently. Regardless of how badly the day went, successful people typically manage to avoid that pessimistic spiral of negative self-talk because they know it will only create more stress.

Benjamin Franklin famously asked himself the same self-improvement question every night: "What good have I done today?"

"Remember to take some time to reflect on the positive moments of the day and celebrate the successes, even if they were few and far between," Woodward says.

Vanderkam adds: "Taking a few moments to think about what went right over the course of the day can put you in a positive, grateful mood."

8. They decompress

Jacquelyn Smith/Business Insider

Maybe you like taking a warm bath. Perhaps listening to calming music relaxes you. 

The most successful people find ways to unwind and decompress before heading to bed. It allows them to de-stress, fall asleep quicker, and sleep more soundly.

9. They picture tomorrow's success

Corrie Barklimore/flickr

Many successful people take a few minutes before bed to envision a positive outcome unfolding for the projects they're working on, says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job."

"For most, this is not a task or exercise; they're wired with a gift of solid resolution skills that come naturally," she says.

10. They meditate

Marko Kudjerski/flickr

Another great way to decompress is to meditate.

Many successful people use the 10 minutes before bed to do this. Dale Kurow, a New York-based executive coach, says it's a great way to relax your body and quiet your mind.

11. They plan out sleep

Phalinn Ooi/flickr

"Much has been written around the dangers busy people face running chronic sleep deficits, so one habit I know several highly successful people do is to simply make it a priority to get enough sleep — which can be a challenge for workaholics or entrepreneurs," Kerr says.

One way to do that is to go to bed at a consistent time each evening, which is a key habit all sleep experts recommend to help ensure a healthy night's sleep.

Vanderkam further suggests that you plan out when you're going to wake up, count back however many hours you need to sleep, and then consider setting an alarm to remind yourself to get ready for bed.

"The worst thing you can do is stay up late then hit snooze in the morning," she says. "Humans have a limited amount of willpower. Why waste that willpower arguing with yourself over when to get up, and sleeping in miserable nine-minute increments?"

12. They keep a hygiene ritual

Flickr/Cody Long

The National Sleep Foundation recommends that you create a hygiene ritual that sends a psychological signal that you are getting ready for bed. This can include brushing your teeth, washing your face, flossing, or combing your hair.

Stephen King's nightly routine includes washing his hands and making sure all the pillows face a certain way.

13. They skip the wine

Tobias Toft/Flickr

When researching her sleep manifesto, "Thrive," Huffington consulted a number of sleep specialists for tips. One of her favorites is avoiding alcohol right before bedtime.

While alcohol can certainly help you fall asleep, the National Institute of Health finds that it robs you of quality sleep. Alcohol keeps people in the lighter stages of sleep from which they can be awakened easily and prevents them from falling into deeper, more restorative stages of sleep, the institute finds.